SOME COMMON PROBLEMS
GRIEF AND LOSS
Grief is not only about bereavement, although of course that is a major source of grief. Throughout our lives we experience losses which are often unacknowledged or pushed aside and not grieved for at the time. Frequently, bereavement or another major life change brings these to the surface, often taking us by surprise.
Grief is complex, and everyone's journey through it is unique to them, although there are recognisable stages which occur in many cases, although not always in a tidy progression.
There is a common feeling that grief is something we can 'get over' in a relatively short period of time. This is far from the truth. I think of it more as a river – we have to wade through it, buffeted by its currents, to get to the other bank. There is no easy bridge across. As a counsellor, I will walk with you through that river, offering support and the knowledge that the far bank really does wait ahead.
Anxiety often has its source in our past experiences, whether from childhood or later in life, when we were unable to control what happened to us. It can also be due to completely realistic fears in the present,such as the threat of redundancy.
There are various 'tools' that a therapist can offer to help someone to manage their anxiety, whether it's a framework for reality checking, a visualisation or a relaxation technique – it will vary from person to person what may be helpful. Most importantly, though, a counsellor can offer a safe space for the anxious part to be heard and acknowledged, and taken seriously in its desire to protect us from harm.
The words with which we describe the world to ourselves and communicate with others are very powerful. Often we learn habits of communication when young that are not helpful, or imbibe them from popular culture. Drawing on the work of Marshall Rosenberg, I can help you to change your relation to yourself and the world by awareness of the words you use – for example questioning the assumptions behind phrases like
This can be as part of a series of counselling sessions, or as sessions specifically focused on communication techniques.